Nunca la amaste

Los amantes toman forma de animales alienígenas

Perdidos entre las sabanas de lo que alguna vez llamaron hogar

Ahora manchadas y por descarapelar bajo el aullido de un día sin sol

Solo piensas en la piel que nunca volverá a ser suave

Mientras flácida y corroída por los golpes de la monotonía resbalan entre tus manos

Intentas arrastrarte a la puerta mientras tu conciencia se sujeta a tus rodillas

Solo puedes sentir los dedos incandescentes de tu memoria clavando sus uñas en tu espalda

Parece como si nunca hubieras podido levantar la cara con orgullo

Sujeto bajo el peso del yugo de tus ideas

Falsas y des ubicadas siguiendo a la manada que se arroja al vacio

Serás devorado en el bebedero de esta sabana

Y no habrá llenas que anuncien risueñas tu pérdida

Has dejado a los depredadores atrás para poder unirte a los carroñeros

Solo un corazón roto puede atraer a otro así como solo el deseo de enmendarlo

Nunca la amaste y eso nunca te lo perdonaras.

Pain

People automatically run from pain their system registers it as something bad, they try to avoid it at all cost. So why do they keep coming back. Over and over, like smashing your head against a cold concrete wall, maybe its becus they have done it so many times they have forgotten the reason why they started.

Pain is the anti-hero in this story, the result of all your problems and tears.

People have forgotten that pain makes you grow, it makes you stronger. Pain gives you hope when everything seems lost. Only in a moment of extreme pain can you look back to the past and see only the bright side hoping for a better day.

Humanidad perdida

Viendo a mi alrededor me encuentro rodeada de miseria, falta de deseos de vivir y una intención inexistente de preservar la humanidad.
Me parece difícil creer que alguna vez z esta raza se le considero como la mas consiente del planeta, y que lo que lo diferenciaba de las demás especies haciéndola superior era la capacidad de sentir remordimiento y sentimientos de identidad.
Somos cabras corriendo al vacio.
Solo siento mi poca humanidad desaparecer al querer separarme por completo de esta raza que solo parece querer lastimarse a si misma y a los demás.
No es cuestión de modales si no de sobrevivencias.

A nother day in paradise

Feeling like Alice through the rabbit hole I finally know whats on the other side of the wall. Falling down, down, down, never stopping not even to breathe.

Ruffles in my hair I get up to find myself marching in a well pressed uniform, slick hair on the top of my head, and black shiny shoes glistening in the sun.

Time flies buy some times not fast enough its unreal and you have to sit down for a while.

But you can’t everything is going round and round so fast that your stomach replaced your heart and your brains seems to look at you through the space between your toes everything seems so surreal that you don’t even know if you are still yourself.

You finally ketch your breath again and finding the red queen with her shiny belt buckle she looks at you straight in the eye and screams “Off with their heads”.

You wake up startled looking all around the English teacher sees you with a red mark on your forehead and a thin line of saliva under your lip “give me 30 she says with a smile, another day in paradise.

Work harder

Work harder, run faster jump higher. Be better but not too good, run faster but not faster than your superior, jump higher but never fly. Go on in till you limit the rookies like once they limited you, tell them to jump but not to fly, to run but not to be the fastest, to be good but not the best.

Let the years past by you, making 4 feel like 40, and forcing your humanity to abandon you, become not the person that moves on but that moves through. Let you become the sea to work for the sea. Make your father proud and may your mother cry tears of joy.

Let your father Neptune take possession of you and when the world tells you to kneel before it, you must crash down on them, hard, like a tall wave, like the storm that sunk Atlantis, like the tsunami that shuck Japan, do not fall to your knees crying forgiveness. And when the world tells you to move scream back “No, You move!”

Chronicles of a golden potro.

Sometimes I think about the way I look at life and I try hard not to get depressed. Seeing so much damn unfairness I can’t but get mad, feel the blood rushing to my face and my throat itching wanting to scream out “what the fuck is wrong with you people?”

You get up early (4:40am) only to run out freezing in the morning cold ten minutes later to prepare to run lazy laps half sleeping till someone thinks it’s time to go, half the people there walk around lost acting like they don’t know what running is and seem too think it’s funny to cal out that you should trie running faster, you would get mad but the idea of half of your class room sleeping in their worm beds when you are running just because they think they are better than that.

They let you go and with weak legs you trie to get back to your room as soon as possible to be able to take a quick shower before you have to run out to breakfast, only to arrive and see that those that couldn’t be bothered are fresh and ready waiting for their meal, you enter the cafeteria too be passed over and over again by people pushing you to the end of the line again and again in till there is nobody left but you, hard bread and cold coffee has to do the trick wile you run back to prepare your brief case, clean the bathroom, sweep and mop the hallway, pick up trash outside the dorm and take out the trash.

You barely arrive on time to class where the teachers tell you how the 15% of your classmates will be gone before the semesters end, you look around trying to find a friendly reassuring face and you see is sleepy young adults trying to keep their eyes open some can others cant, others just smirk about the idea of more space in the classroom, it seems sometimes it’s harder to find a friend than you would think.

The class ends and you run out trying to keep your hands arms and other unfriendly limbs away from your freshly shined belt buckle while you clean one shoe with one hand and straighten your cap with the other, tripping on the way and almost crashing in to a superior officer you apologize trough lie and run on almost losing your breath before you take your place in formation where they tell you that your pants are wrinkled (in the area where you sit down), your belt buckle has a spot the size of a dust speck and it seems like you haven’t polished your shoes in weeks, you turn around to look at everybody ells around you how seem to full fill their expectations and they look exactly the same as you so what’s the problem?

Most days you just laugh it off and continue with your life thinking that karma is fair and square and that sooner or later everything falls under its own weight. Other days you seem to be over aware of pathetic and useless people pas buy suffering and enduring nothing, never knowing the satisfaction of a hard day’s work in their life, they come up to you trying to tell you what to do and how to work harder to be a better person joust like them.

The first thing that comes in to mind is kicking their teeth in, sadly you can’t, you trie to walk away and they seem to chase after you, giving advice you didn’t ask for with half ass excuses of why they are better and work harder then you.

You end up pissed off and cursing, biting your tong off and kicking the ground. The day seems to flow by to slow, more horrible people then you have seen all month seem to be suddenly in your face with the simple idea of ruining your mood any time it seems to improve a little.

You finish with your classes for the day only to hurry up and change in to gym clothes to run with other people that pas by doing pig sounds because they say that you are so morbidly obese that you have to run at least one hour a day so that they can give you the privilege of remaining in school. They push you to the limit telling you that you’re not good enough and that in any moment you will quit. The exercise ends and they tell you how pathetic you are for being tired.

You change your clothes in to an overall to go and pick up huge piles of grass and carrie it 200 meters to make another huge pile of grass. In your tenth lap carrying the 7 kilo load you notice that only other 3 people are actually doing anything. While they lay in the grass you sweet your ass off.

At the end of the day your mad, sad, frustrated, stressed, depressed, and homicidal, you get back to your room only to encounter your roommates, laughing about your pain and telling you to let it slip and not let it bother you everybody has passed through that path, you take a cold shower cursing the lack of heat and the hunger thanks to the horrible cooking skills of the cafeteria staff, you lay down to sleep feeling that you will doze of the moment your head touches the pillow only to be awaken by a knocking on the door and a uniform to iron, another empty say as you dig out your iron and connect it your roommates already fast asleep probably remembering there younger days when not even sitting down was an option, you smile to yourself in the dimly lighted room knowing that you better work fast because you have an early morning ahead of you.

Casi perfecto

Cierro los ojos aun estando a oscuras pues siempre parece haber luz que me distraiga, si solo pudiera hundirme completamente en sombras solo escuchando las canciones dentro de mi cabeza a un volumen ensordecedor podría estar bien, olvidar todas esas pequeñas cosas que le quitan la belleza a mi mundo.
Podría olvidar todas las sensaciones que me obligan a moverme y salir de esta casi perfecta oscuridad, olvidar mi apariencia y defectos, olvidar el sonido molesto de mi voz, dejar de pensar en los momentos que en que he dicho cosas sin pensar, en todas las palabras que me he forzado a tragar, en todos esos días que solo deje pasar.
Las personas vienen, van regresan de nuevo y te preguntan cómo has estado, solo sonríes y dices bien sin ponerte a pensar en cada detalle del que te gustaría hablar, pero solo usas la escusa no tengo tiempo, no ahora, no importa.
Pero nunca piensas que tal vez esta vez no te levantes y quedaras cubierto por el polvo desvaneciéndote en una nada donde ni siquiera una hierba puede crecer